Something.Someone.

So...I tried to keep myself busy all day.

Distract myself from what was really happening. 

And I felt ok.

Why would it bother me now?
It's been so long.

Almost a lifetime.

And now that I'm home, sitting here completely alone,

it hit me.

I saw the pictures.

The way you were looking at her.

And I remember when that's how you looked at me.

I remember the words that were written.

The things that were said.

All of the memories.

Your carefree attitude towards life.

My hope of wanting something more.

It all flooded back.

And I can't shake this feeling.

I don't want it to mean anything.

I don't think of you and miss you at all.

Not in the least bit.

I think I moreso miss the feeling.

The little hint of promise that existed.

I miss having something to look forward to.

I miss having someone to look forward to.

 

So I'm going to be honest..

Tonight I'm going to bed sad, despite my efforts to stay positive.

 I wish so unbearably much that I felt nothing.