I want to be sad.

In my head, I know I'll be ok,

but my heart is saying something different.

It aches for promise.

It aches for hope.

It longs for forgiveness.

And sad song after sad song can't make me feel whole again.

But yet, I continue to listen.

I'm longing for the sad.

I can't let it go.

Because as much as I want to be happy,

I want to be sad more. 
Being sad makes me remember that there is something to be sad about.
Someone to be upset over.
Something to mourn.
Something special.
Something important.
And even though it's gone,
I'll always remember it
through the swift,
silent,
heart-wrenching sadness.