If Only for a Moment...

I've only truly loved once.

I wish I could say my life has been full of love

and relationships

and random spontaneous moments. 

But it hasn't been.

There has only been one person I've ever truly loved,

and I loved him for reasons unknown to me.

I can remember small, insignificant details of when we were together.

The way he laughed when I said something dumb.

The way he walked toward me when we were seeing each other for the first time in a while.

The way his voice got soft when I told him I couldn't love him,

even though, deep in my heart, I knew I already did.

I still, to this day wonder what might have been.

I sit alone painfully wishing I could go back,

if only for a moment.