To be happy.....

I am not who I wanted to be.

I have become the person I so strongly dispise.

I am a self-loathing,

heartbroken,

undeserving

piece of trash.

At least, that's how I see myself.

And every second of every day is spent wishing that I was different.

Wishing that I wasn't a failure.

Wishing that I was stronger.

I have dreams and aspirations.

Too many dreams, perhaps.

Too many hopes to be good at too much.

But who is to say when enough is enough?

So I dream, and I hope, and I work, and I fail.

But sometimes, very rarely, I succeed.

But the most important hope,

the most important aspiration,

the most important CHOICE,

I fail at, time and time again.

I promise myself it's over.

I promise myself I'm going to be strong.

I'm going to dream.

I'm going to hope.

I'm going to believe.

I'm going to succeed.

I'm going to be happy.