It's 2012. How did I start off the new year?
Feeling like a complete idiot...
I honestly don't know why I do this to myself. I'm pretty sure I have some sort of personality disorder or something.
I get nervous. Nervous to the point where my brain stops functioning. I become this anti-social mess who looks like she doesn't even have any personality at all. I hate that this happens to me.
I grew up so painfully shy. It's something I've worked on for as long as I can remember. For the most part, I have it under control. Then comes along certain situations where.. I guess I just can't handle it.
I get weird. I swear people around me must think I'm either crazy, bored, or too stuck up to talk to them. And no matter how hard I try, once it happens, I can't make it stop. I can't get myself to talk. I can't get myself to say anything. I can't turn on the witty, sarcastic personality I normally have.
So I sit in the corner and watch everyone else have a good time while, in my mind, I'm searching for a way to release myself from this box I'm trapped in.
I guess I just have to work at it harder because, I absolutely, 100% hate the fact that this happens.
So, as I strive to make many changes this year, I'm confident that one of them HAS to happen. I can no longer continue to live in this socially awkward box when I am put into certain situations.
This year, I need to learn how to be myself and be comfortable with it, in any situation.
Here goes nothin....
